How do we know that female masturbation is rare?
Kinsey found that only 20% of women masturbated regularly. Kinsey concluded that masturbation was not only the fastest way for a woman to reach orgasm (4 minutes on average), but also the most reliable way (95% success rate). She used the masturbatory activities of women to define the female orgasm. There are many ways to prove women wrong about orgasming with a lover because they don’t understand what an orgasm is. So Kinsey’s work indicates that 20% of women may know how to orgasm.
The percentage of women who actually have an orgasm is likely to be much lower than that of the general population. Kinsey’s sample was heavily skewed toward more educated women. These women are likely to read more than others and are more likely to learn to use erotic fantasies for arousal (if they respond positively to erotica). She also noted the tendency among the less educated to view masturbation as a perversion. Kinsey found that two in five women (42%) never masturbate, while a similar number (38%) try to masturbate but are not motivated to continue.
But the research inevitably involves women who are confident enough to come forward and talk about orgasm in polls. The reluctance of women to discuss sexual phenomena suggests that female masturbation is much less common than this. Reading Shere Hite’s book is a great relief for any woman who masturbates. Her work is the only evidence that women easily orgasm alone but cannot do the same with a lover. The fact that her book is largely unknown is clear evidence that few women masturbate.
Masturbation clinics encourage women to feel better about their bodies. When a woman feels better about her body, she may be more willing to have sex. It is not possible to teach someone how to orgasm. These clinics are run by women who have no idea what orgasm or masturbation entails. We cannot learn to be receptive. Our responsiveness is determined at birth and is typically a male characteristic.
Shere Hite’s work seemed to indicate that many women masturbate during intercourse. Not only is this an impractical technique, but it’s also incompatible with the way women masturbate to orgasm. Neither men nor women seem to be aware of the fact that before someone can have an orgasm, they must first be aroused. Men’s arousal is fairly automatic, but women have to work much harder to consciously generate their arousal.
Most women don’t like explicit references to the genitalia, so they say “bottom front” or “down there,” which means anywhere between the clitoris and the anus. Most women also don’t like references to explicit genital stimulation, including masturbation. They consider the clitoris to be too sexually explicit for a straight woman. Most women associate the vagina, the clitoris, and the female orgasm with pornography and male fantasies.
Women never comment on the different stimulation techniques and anatomy that are supposed to bring about the female orgasm. If women knew how to masturbate to orgasm, more women would realize that intercourse does not cause a female orgasm. His lovers would also notice. Straight women associate clitoral stimulation with lesbians who never have sex and therefore have to engage in more explicit genital foreplay.
Shere Hite listed a variety of positions that women reported using during masturbation. Only 5% of the women in her sample who masturbated did so by lying on their foreheads. This means that the rest (the vast majority) were not actually reaching orgasm. Kinsey noted the technique of lying on your stomach and thrusting with your hips, which was only linked to some of the women who said they masturbated. Kinsey also commented that many women do not use fantasy. Clearly, many women do not masturbate to orgasm.
From the universal silence and ignorance about the female orgasm, we can conclude that female masturbation and therefore the female orgasm are rare. Women allow men to portray their sexual responsiveness in completely unrealistic ways without even commenting. Most women have little confidence in their own experiences, so they accept all fictional accounts as possibilities for other women, if not for themselves. Few women even know they have a clitoris, let alone know what to do with it. Men explore the female body as they always have. Armed with the latest clitoral news, men convince themselves that as a new generation of male lovers, they are giving women amazing pleasure for the first time in human history.
Women who masturbate to orgasm understand the need for a source of eroticism. Although they don’t respond to porn the way men do, they may be more understanding of men’s need for an arousal mechanism in the absence of a partner. Women who masturbate to orgasm don’t talk about their fantasies because they are private and taboo. But there are also so many women who dislike masturbation. Even without directly mentioning sex, there are signs that indicate a person’s attitude towards eroticism. Most women ignore any reference to sex, which is a sure sign that they won’t be willing to talk about orgasm.
…certainly, for most women it is easier to orgasm during masturbation than during intercourse…For most women, masturbation involves stimulation of the clitoris, whereas with intercourse, the clitoris it is only stimulated indirectly. (Masters & Johnson 1995)