Curse! I almost killed myself

I came out of a coma. It was not expected. She also surprised the doctors and family that she was not in worse physical shape. She looked like she had lost in the boxing ring: both front teeth were missing, his tongue was twice their size, and badly bruised all over.

The stress of storing my mother’s life energy from the dying embers had gotten the better of me. The only thing that helped was forbidden by mom’s eldest daughter: rescuing broken animals and loving them back to health.

As I zoomed in against the glaring lights of the hospital, I saw my sad little mother sitting next to my grumbling sister. “I became your worst enemy”, were the first words I heard her say. She fully stepped into that role and has done immeasurable damage to my life before and since.

The kind of energy that my sister emanates towards me or anyone who challenges her is the reason she didn’t want to be on this planet. She poisons people like me. Some of us cannot absorb toxic energy and maintain balance. We are the writers, artists and creators from all walks of life and we co-create with the universe to bring our version of art into this world to raise the vibration.

I let myself be weakened by focusing on someone else’s needs instead of my own. A better plan would be to spread care into ‘stores’ but always retain enough to maintain a healthy and balanced life.

The police officer who appeared by my hospital bed made eye contact and said, “Can you stand up?” He helped me to my feet and added, “I prefer not to handcuff you unless it’s necessary.” I knew it but he didn’t, “I had no fight left.” I gave up.

It’s a good thing I did because at that point, I wasn’t free anymore. Reaching for the door handle for the first time was sobering. I was not there. I couldn’t open it. Only a human dressed in white had the authority to let me go.

Sobering up came quickly when I found out that ‘family’ (my older sister) had applied for a ‘permanent placement’. The nurse/social worker/person in white said they don’t do that anymore. This is a ‘temporary stop to check your meds and not an incarceration,’ she informed me. It’s good that Sis thought so much about my future.

This ends here, I told myself. He was ready to listen to anyone who had answers. I didn’t know that doctors didn’t know what to do with alcoholics. They are just as baffled as many drinkers as to why we do what we do to the extent that we do.

Chemically unbalanced brains will make lethal decisions. That is my definition of insanity.

I needed Sane Sherry back. No one missed her more than me.