My husband refuses to admit his affair: how can I make him tell me the truth?

I often hear from wives who can’t get their husbands to admit or be honest about their affair. Sometimes the husband has only admitted to cheating, but is trying to downplay or downplay the seriousness of it and stops short of saying it’s a long-term thing. Other times, the husband flatly denies that he had an affair even though the wife knows she did or has evidence to prove it. This can be beyond frustrating for wives who know part of the truth but demand the whole story. Because they need their husbands to be honest, to have some integrity, and to tell the whole truth.

I recently heard from a wife who said, in part, “My husband admitted to cheating with a co-worker, but recently I learned it was much more than just cheating. It was an affair. The other woman and I have talked at length about this and they were unfaithful for about four months. And according to her, my husband seemed to be pretty serious about her and their relationship. Not only that, but I found hotel receipts and cell phone records that indicate this was an ongoing thing AND However, when I try to talk to my husband about the affair, he insists that it was only a short-term affair, that it meant nothing, and that I just need to let it go and move on.Frankly, I can’t and won’t do any of these things until you start being honest with me. Why can’t you just be honest and admit everything? Is there anything I can do to make you tell me the whole truth?” I will try to address these concerns in the next article.

There are many reasons why husbands are not honest about the affair. Here are a few: As maddening as this situation is, it’s actually not that uncommon. Men are often dishonest or evasive about their affair because they know that if they tell you the whole truth, you will be more angry, have more questions, and experience more pain.

I would say that the most important reasons men give for being evasive or dishonest about the matter is that they know that if you have all the facts, you will have even more questions that you will demand more answers to. They know that what they have to tell you will only make you angry and frankly make things worse and delay you from getting over this and moving on.

However, they don’t realize that most women are not going to give up their need for the truth. The husband’s refusal to be honest only makes you want to know that much more. Often, her refusal to show any truth and integrity is what really makes her situation worse, not silence her. Because many wives will assume the worst anyway.

Another reason why men tend to be dishonest is because they are just embarrassed. Now that they are trapped, they often replay the series of events in their minds and are often quite embarrassed and embarrassed by how they have acted. So, they want to get past this shame and push it down as much as possible. But, if they share this information with you, they suspect that you’re going to keep bringing it up, they’re going to keep demanding answers, and both of these things will mean they’ll have to deal with their embarrassment and embarrassment for much longer. than they had expected.

Finally, sometimes they think that their dishonesty is actually protecting you. Sometimes they worry about what will happen if you find out or try to confront the other woman. Or they know that digging deeper will cause you more pain. So they think that if they can force him to stop with all the questions, his healing and escape from pain will happen more quickly.

Is there a way to get your husband to be honest about his affair: Well, the way I see it, there are a few options here. You can try to collect and confront him with evidence (which can obviously cause more conflict). Or you can try to convince him that it is in his best interest to tell you the truth (and that it is also the right thing to do). ) Another option is to insist that you can and will get information on your own whether you like it or not.

So which strategy do I think is better? Well, that depends on how you want to proceed with your marriage. If you think there’s a chance of saving your marriage, you’re much better off trying to get their cooperation. If you’re going to end your marriage anyway, then there’s really no need to continue a dialogue with him when you probably don’t trust his response anyway.

But if you think that at some point, your marriage might have a little chance, then it is better to try to convince him that he really wants and needs to show some honesty and integrity because of his love and respect for you. .

How to convince your husband that he should admit or tell you the truth about your affair: Although I know it’s very tempting to react very strongly and demand answers in a very forceful or threatening way, doing so often won’t get you the answers you want. So, as challenging as it is, it often benefits you to convince him that he really wants to work with you.

So I suggested that the next time this husband started to deny that the wife knew it wasn’t true, he might consider saying something like, “Listen, we both know you’re not being completely honest right now. It’s obvious.” that you are reluctant, scared or don’t want to tell me the truth. The thing is, I’m very determined to find out the whole truth. I’m going to get answers, but I’d rather get them from you. I would much rather hear difficult things from you than from a stranger or digging myself. I know that what you say to me may be hard for me to hear or might even temporarily make things worse. But I can’t stress enough that I need to hear it anyway. And I need to hear it from you. In order for me to start healing, I need to know that you cared enough to be completely honest with me. Are you willing to do that?

This approach doesn’t always get the exact result you want right away or at first. But if you continue with a calm demeanor and focused determination, many men will realize that there is simply no other way, especially if they, too, want to save the marriage.