My Little Big Boy – A workaholic’s apology to his son

Dear big boy,

I want you to know that daddy loves you very much. You have made me very proud of you simply for coming into this world.

You may be too young to understand this now, but before you were born, doctors told us that we could not bring you into this world without the help of medicine. We were told that mommy had a condition that prohibited our ability to create you.

The good news is that they were dead wrong. And now you’re here lighting up our lives with your goofy sense of humor. Impressing us with his academic and athletic gifts. And giving us the biggest of smiles when we see your desire to praise God. I think you love praise and worship music more than me.

Watching you grow into a beautifully handsome young man is one of my greatest joys. Which brings me to why I should apologize to you.

Before you were born I didn’t have the same kind of wisdom that I have now. I chose a career that guaranteed that I would spend a lot of time away from you and your mommy.

I didn’t know you didn’t have to work two jobs, and all the overtime to provide everything you’d need. I didn’t know that the way I had been trained to work my entire life would make me miss out on giving you the most valuable thing you would ever need from me. What was and is my time.

Having remembered to put you in day care very early in your life because your mommy and I had to work.

I remember the cry you gave, and the look of not understanding why we gave you to strangers to take care of you.

That is a memory that will always be with me. It serves as a reminder to me of the wrong course I was on. Every time she told your mommy “I have to work”, they tore me apart inside. Eventually I reached a point of exhaustion.

Then one day I was forced to choose between taking care of you or losing my job. I thank God that he gave me the wisdom to realize that no job or amount of money was more important than being there for you.

NOTHING!

That moment helped me correct my course. He started me in the entrepreneurship course with the purpose of having full time and financial freedom.

I dedicate myself to being there for you whenever you need me. Even if when you’re older and you don’t think it’s so cool to hang out with me anymore. Even if that happens, I will be available for you at any time.

It’s a joy to know that because I made the decision to change the course of my career, I can be there to pick you up and drop you off at school. It’s a big problem for me because there were times when you were younger, I left when you were sleeping and I came home to find you doing the same thing.

His mother would brief me on his developments for the day. And while I smiled at the news of your daily achievements, the sadness of missing those occasions would continue to eat away at me.

I really don’t miss having to miss those moments anymore. I am so grateful to be able to see your beautiful and smiling face every day.

Even though you’re still pretty young, your dad is busy telling lots of other dads (and moms) how they can spend more time with their beautiful kids. I’m putting a lot of effort in right now so that when you start exploring careers and what you want to do with your life. You will also know how to work smarter, not harder.

I love you so much my Big Boy. You are very important to me. And at the same time you are the most important piece of why I have made these important and necessary changes in my life.

I pray that I continue to become the man you think I am.

I pray to continue to become the man God called me to be. Not just for you and your future sister. But also for you and your children.

When I leave this earth, I want to leave it in a better place for you, your sister and your children.

When I leave this earth, I want you to know that you are SO valuable that I changed my life to give you the life you deserve.

When I leave this earth my son. I want you to be extremely proud that you called me your Father/Daddy/Dad.

This is dedicated to my son Randall.

Sharing God’s agape love

rodney k

Also Known As The Entrepreneurial Father