Chat starters and techniques
Conversation starters aren’t very good unless you understand the techniques to become a good conversationalist. But, with the right frame of mind and a commitment to practice, learning how to have a good conversation can be fun and easy.
Research shows that developing good communication skills is much more important than getting good grades in school. According to a study from the Stanford University School of Business, the most successful graduates were not those with the highest GPAs. They were the ones who felt most comfortable having friendly conversations with others, especially strangers.
When you start a conversation with someone you don’t know, it helps to realize that they are probably just as uncomfortable and self-conscious as you are. And, if they aren’t, chances are they have the good manners to be classy. So have fun, jump in and be the first to talk. You have a lot to gain and little to lose.
To break the ice, you can make a positive comment about the room, the food, the guest of honor, or note something positive about what the other person is doing, wearing, or saying. Then you could offer her a sincere compliment. Be friendly, optimistic, and enthusiastic. Be willing to chat about the weather, sports, movies, pets, or kids. The point is to make the other person feel like you’ve been waiting all week to get to know them.
Once you’ve broken the ice, move on to closed questions. It’s you…? You…? WHO? Where? Which? Then continue with more open questions. What do you think…? As…? That…? or why…?
You’ll know what to say next by listening carefully to the information the other person shares with you: facts, feelings, and opinions. Your job is to respond with sincere interest. But be sure to always avoid topics of politics or religion. (You can change the subject, if necessary.) And naturally, you would never want to argue about anything, even if you disagree.
When you’re feeling good, be willing to share positive and upbeat personal information, but don’t talk too much about yourself. Stay focused on discovering and getting to know the other person. The bottom line is, if you want people to find you interesting, all you have to do is genuinely express an interest in them. If you do, they may even leave the conversation thinking you’re one of the most fascinating people they’ve ever met. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Pay special attention to noticing when the other person is ready to move on, and always gracefully end each exchange on a positive note. Use his name, give a sincere compliment when possible, and always offer a smile or your hand in friendship: “It was nice talking to you, John. I hope to see you again sometime.” Then say goodbye to a peasant.
To be a good conversationalist, just follow these simple guidelines and practice. After all, developing good communication skills could take you further than a Stanford MBA. With practice, you can turn every conversation into an enjoyable experience and maybe even an opportunity – the possibilities are limitless!