Child Custody: 25 Stupid Mistakes To Avoid!
Win Your Rhode Island Child Custody Case Without Making Foolish Mistakes
In my 13 years as a Rhode Island Child Custody Lawyer, I have seen many mothers and fathers make foolish and stupid decisions during the course of Rhode Island Child Custody Proceedings. Sometimes winning your RI Child Custody is about the mistakes you avoid rather than what you do right.
The stupid and rude behavior listed below can prevent or ruin your chances of winning custody in Rhode Island Family Court. All of the actions set forth below are actual behaviors that I have seen in Rhode Island Family Court.
Please read this Rhode Island family law article carefully!
I am almost afraid to tell people not to engage in the behavior and antics described below for fear of being accused of patronizing or condescending to my clients. It really is just common sense. Ironically, many of the mistakes mothers and fathers make are mistakes made in an attempt to gain an unfair advantage.
1. Do not post inappropriate content on Facebook, MySpace, social networks or online that show you are an unfit parent, use drugs or alcohol, or are not acting in the best interest of your child. Remember, the other parent often visits her Facebook page looking for any angle to help him prevail in the custody dispute. A seemingly innocuous “Facebook friend” may actually be providing information to the other parent.
2. Do not post negative or disappearing comments or comments about the other parent onlinethe judge, the psychiatrist, the psychologist, the custody evaluator, anyone involved in the custody proceeding, the other Rhode Island attorney, or the family of the other parties.
3. Do not blog about your case. You should fight your case in court, not on your blog. These blogs infuriate the judges, especially when there is a chance that children will see the blog.
4. Don’t buy an expensive item, cars or travel when you claim you can’t pay child support or are facing a child support contempt motion. The other Rhode Island attorney will use this to show that his contempt is intentional and ask to have him jailed.
5. Do not wear a $500 watch at your Rhode Island child support contempt hearing. If you can’t pay child support, you shouldn’t buy expensive items while claiming you’re broke. Certainly, if you owe RI child support, you should not use expensive items in court.
7. Don’t make silly arguments in Rhode Island Family Court. See my article on stupid arguments in RI Family Court. These arguments destroy your credibility, waste valuable Court resources, and generally irritate judges.
8. Don’t teach your child to take your side. This often backfires because most children are incapable of lying. The first thing the custody evaluator, Rhode Island Guardian ad Litem, or investigator does is ask the child who they talked to about the case. Her son is not her friend or confidante regarding the Rhode Island divorce proceedings or the RI child custody case. Training children can be emotionally damaging and confusing for your child.
9. Do not send the other parent inappropriate or threatening texts, emails or voice messages which will invariably be shown to the judge. These stupid text messages are absurd and an easy way to lose your RI Child Custody case. You want the judge to perceive you as the best parent and reasonable person and these emails are not helping your case!
10 Do not send drug or alcohol induced text messages
eleven Do not make negative remarks or remarks about the other parent in the presence of your child. This is the most common mistake parents make in Rhode Island child custody cases. These comments can be very damaging to your child. They also show the judge that you do not care about your child’s emotional well-being.
12 Do not make threats or act inappropriately on the phone with the other parent. Suppose that everything you say is being recorded because many parents record the other parent.
13 Don’t use illegal drugs. At any time during the Rhode Island Child Custody Case, you are subject to a drug test. A positive drug test can destroy your chances of prevailing in your custody case and can lead to supervised visitation.
14 Do not go out drinking excessively the night before your evaluation by the custody evaluator.. Yes, a client actually did this.
fifteen. Do not get involved in personal disputes, make accusations or act rudely towards people who influence decisions in your case. You want these people to respect you and like you on a personal level.
Destroying the people who influence the decision of your case is a very bad idea. This specifically includes Psychiatrists, Psychologists, and the person who supervises their visits. In one case, a woman and her husband had a fistfight, became enraged, and began yelling at the psychologist.
sixteen. Do not write inappropriate letters to your child about the custody case. People really do this. I can’t make these things up.
17 Do not deny court-ordered visitation or do not pay child support as ordered by the court. This only makes you look bad and can change the focus of the Rhode Island Child Custody case. If you are not satisfied with visitation, you must file a motion to modify visitation.
18 Do not write a letter to the judge or call the judge. Yes, some of my clients have done this before. Your Child Custody Lawyer will defend his position before the judge. It is not appropriate to write a letter to the judge.
19 Do not show up to court with an excessive dose of prescription drugs.
twenty Do not fail to show up for the other parent’s supervised visitation without a good excuse and without calling Family Services and the other parent. (Unless there is a restraining order)
twenty-one Do not introduce the child or involve the child with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, especially if they have a criminal or DCYF record.
22 Do not have overnight visitors from the opposite sex while the children are home. The Custody case is complicated enough that there is no need to involve other people in the case.
23 Don’t buy the child a big gift the day before or the day of their interview with the judge. This looks like bribing a judge. However, the game is a good idea. There’s nothing wrong with a day at the amusement park the day before you meet with the judge. The game is fine. Bribery is not okay.
24 Do not leave the state without telling the other parent where you are going and when you will return. You must also provide contact information.
25 Don’t have the necessary heated confrontations with the other parent. Stay away from these bad situations and tell your attorney. These confrontations often lead to Rhode Island Restraining Orders or protection from abuse complaints.
Even if the confrontation is not physical and relatively harmless, the other parent may exaggerate it and use it to gain unfair advantage when filing for a restraining order or filing criminal charges.
Allegations of domestic violence could destroy your chances of obtaining physical placement or joint custody of your child. Sometimes these confrontations lead to RI criminal charges. You do not want to hire a Providence criminal lawyer.
Important Rhode Island Family Law Tip: Many people use the term “common custody.” Legal custody relates to decision-making and access to records and is Joint Custody of both parents or Sole Custody of one parent. Physical custody is where the child resides on a daily basis and the other parent has visitation rights. There is also a shared physical location.